i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We have started to decorate penises.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize