we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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