Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize