hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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