went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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