dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
