I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You pole danced in your parka.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
