i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
