I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
