Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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