so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
