I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
