; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
