the new term for farting is butt boxing.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
