So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
