Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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