well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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