I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We are all done wearing pants today
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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