So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
