His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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