I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
