this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
