some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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