yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize