shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
