She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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