I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
