He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
