i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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