I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
