it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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