You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
