Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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