like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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