just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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