am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
