MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
