spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
