ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
