So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
