How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my sisters under your porch take her home
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
