I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
