i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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