I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
