i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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