I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
