Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
