where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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