I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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