I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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