Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize