as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
