I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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