new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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