remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We have so much sex to catch up on
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
