i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
handjob tips. give me some.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
