My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
