I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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