i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize