If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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