do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize