She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All the doctor said was why
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
