Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
