i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
