He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
