ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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