i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
