hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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