Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Even the bartender felt bad for me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
