It's Friday. Sex?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
