it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
