marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Everyone says I win the strip club
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
