i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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