he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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