Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
