butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
