You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
high people should be assigned attendants
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
