Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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