haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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