Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
